Throw it in the Bag

All human decency ends at the baggage claim. Trust me on this. I've waited for my bag on 5 out of the 7 continents and I can tell you that this is not just a North American problem. Next time you go to pick up your bags, pay attention to this. Before the carrousel even turns on you know there are going to be problems as every ignoramus is trying to jokey for the position right next to the machine. It doesn't matter if you are handicapped or a woman with child, some jackass is going to try and push himself in-between you and the carrousel. It's ridiculous and at times pathetic. However all is not lost. I've figured out a way to make the baggage claim an easy and enjoyable process.


First, everyone needs to stand back at least 4 feet from the carrousel (there is even a ring in the title already built for this). If we all stand back a little it gives everyone a perfect view of the bags coming.

Second, once you see your bag and ONLY once you have seen it may you break the 4 foot barrier.

Third, once you have grabbed your bag...leave the area. This is not the area to sit and talk about how lousy your flight was or if Aunt Rose is going to be meeting you outside.
Also as a final note on this subject, Parents, your kids have no business in or around the baggage claim area! Not only is it a dangerous place, but they are also slow and uncoordinated and are most likely just getting in the way of everyone else.